“It started with my oldest son who was born with a visual impairment. So both my boys have a genetic visual impairment that causes blindness, so they’re legally blind, but functioning. They can’t drive cars and they’ve lived with this their entire lives since they were babies. My oldest daughter has a genetic condition that affects her mobility so sometimes she uses a wheelchair, sometimes she uses a cane and it is very much an invisible illness on other days because she’s walking. But she does have to have a handicapped spot. And having these children, and let me specify, I’m not saying being transgender is a disability, but having these kids and seeing how they navigate the world and learn to advocate for themselves, and didn’t listen to people saying, ‘No, you can’t do that.’ They tried it on their own and discovered whether they could or could not do, allowed me when Sunny at a very young age, like from the time he could walk and talk and express himself and say what he wanted to wear and what he didn’t. And he started expressing that he wanted to be a boy. I let him lead. I didn’t project any of my fears, cause I had them. My confusion, cause I certainly was confused, right? I didn’t project any of that. It was a lot of asking questions. ‘What do you mean you want to be a boy? Or what does being a boy mean to you?’ Right and like, ‘All boys don’t have short hair. So do you think having short hair means that you’re a boy?’ There’s a lot of things I had to grapple with within myself, but I recognized the whole time that it was about me.”
Read More“Another one that continuously comes up is, white women who want to include me in their, ya know, online symposium, interviews, blah blah blah, whatever, because they’re trying to collect Black people and they one, want me to do it for free. So no. And two, don’t, again, it’s this lack of, care or thought and don’t read my responses even. I just had a woman ask me to speak on her online symposium for free. And she was like, ‘It’s a marketing opportunity.’ No, it’s not a marketing opportunity for me. I don’t need your marketing opportunity, I’m just, like if you want my offerings, service and education, then pay me for my time. Period.”
Read More“Understand that the most impact that you’ll be is right where you stand. So, where are you right now? And what can you do in your immediate environment to move the needle? And that there’s, everybody doesn’t have to be an organizer on the front line, everybody doesn’t have to be holding a picket sign and have their arms linked. And while that is a valuable form of resistance and that’s gotten us a lot of places. That there are a whole lot of other things that we can do, in the place that we are, that helps us all get there.”
Read More“And that stories are the way to connection. Connection is the way to healing. Healing is the way to, I would say, community-based problem-solving, solutions. All of this is important.”
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